I Am Me.
Thanks to a friend I've gotten a little bit of encouragement here to officially start a blog. I've been journaling for some time, but let's face it...this is the techno stage! I'm pretty sure I won't throw out my journal, it's been too faithful! However, I type a lot faster than I write!
So here's to my first blog! Not sure if anyone will actually read it, but to be honest with you...it doesn't even matter. Sometimes it's just nice to talk (or type) from the heart.
Mom. That's what I am now. It's such an amazing experience. I actually don't think "amazing" or any other word for that matter could truly express right fully so the feelings and emotions I feel about being, "Noah's Mommy". As a little girl you always play house or with your baby dolls or barbies. You play out your "dream wedding" and already have your kids names picked out. I remember for the longest time I was going to name my little girl, "Maggie" and my little boy "Tristan". I have no clue where Maggie came from and I'm not even sure why I liked it (sorry to all the Maggie's out there lol) and Tristan came from Brad Pitt's character in the movie, "Legends of the Fall". As a little girl you always dream and imagine what your life is going to be like. You think about who you are going to marry, how many kids your going to have, what you want to be when you grow up, what your house is going to look like, etc. I've gone through so many career choices in my head from being a Marine Biologist to a Movie Star to a Lawyer and then to an FBI Agent, Teacher, Singer....
The one thing that has stayed constant is the dream of being a mommy. No matter what I have always wanted to be a wife and a mommy. I know this is the same dream that most little girls have.
Now I am living my dream. I am a wife to an amazing husband and I am a mommy to an amazing little boy. I am living that dream and fulfilling part of what I believe to be my destiny.
Now...with all of this said, I am still me. I am my husband's wife and Noah's mommy but I am also Paris. This is something that I want to make sure that I hold onto tight because even though much of my identity is found now in being a wife and a mom, I still owe myself the right to be me.
What I mean by this is that, I owe myself the right to not lose sight of the spunky, sassy, sarcastic, girly, high heel wearing, lover of lip gloss girl. My husband and my Noah are the two most important people and they will always be put first. But I also want to make sure that in this journey, I don't lose sight of me.
So if your my friend...remind me...I am Me and don't let me lose sight of that =)
ps: I'm a rambler...deal with it ;)